I used to hate reading biographies. Like, a lot. Then something happened. I guess I grew up? Or maybe, comedians like Tina Fey started writing books and they were interesting and funny while teaching you a little something. It certainly started with Tina Fey for me.
Last year I read Bossy Pants and discovered that I actually LIKED biographies. That led me to reading As You Wish, and those led me to reading four biographies so far this year.
Yes Please - Amy Poehler - 329 Pages
4/5 Stars
YES. PLEASE. Amy Poehler has been my queen since the beginning of Parks and Recreation. I genuinely like her and her comedy. She delivers big laughs and big heart in her book which she says she had a very hard time writing. I only hope that the hardness of the task doesn't actually keep her from writing another. I found this book to be better organized than Bossy Pants, the thread of stories and experiences has an understandable flow as it unfolds. The Parks and Rec section slayed me and her stories of forgiveness brought tears to my eyes. Yes, Amy is funny, but she's also very wise. The main purpose of this book isn't to make you laugh (but you sure will) and I found that to be much more endearing that Bossy Pants as well. Poehler fans, this is a must read.
Food: A Love Story - Jim Gaffigan - 340 Pages
4/5 Stars
I am a soul sister of Jim Gaffigan. I too am not a foodie. I am an eatie. I'd rather eat the food than take pictures of it and I'd rather eat something delicious than something good for me. Yes, this whole book is about food, so don't read it while you're hungry. I wasn't hungry but still found myself craving some french fries every time I opened the book. It's pretty funny that this was the longest biography I read when it's all about Jim's relationship with food, and that's it. A bit of each chapter was similar to or word for word from Jim's standup special Mr. Universe, but that didn't bug me since I love that special. There is, however, a lot of new material, so if you like Jim Gaffigan's comedy or you love food, this book was written for you.
Sounds Like Me: My Life (So Far) In Song - Sara Bareilles - 208 Pages
5/5 Stars
Sara Bareilles wrote a book.
Have you left to buy it yet?... I'll wait.
I have never connected to a musicians music like Sara's. Her lyrics are so honest and personal, how could I not? Her book writing is just as honest and lovely. Each chapter is named after a song of hers and tells about that time in her life. It almost read like a life guide. I could read this book a thousand times because there's so much to learn from Sara, and it's only 200 pages! Sara also wrote about the struggle of writing this book, but I never would have been able to tell. I'll just keep reading this book until I get to see Waitress.
Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) - Mindy Kaling - 222 Pages
5/5 Stars
Oh my gosh, a famous person gets me. I honestly felt like Mindy was looking into my soul and sharing all of my fears and hopes. I don't know how to describe it other than that. She shares funny life stories, stories from the writer's room of The Office, gives advice to Men, and just keeps it real. This was probably my favorite (or tied with Sara Bareilles) to read because it just felt so real and relatable in every chapter. Even if you don't know much about Mindy Kaling I recommend this book to biography readers and even non-biography readers looking for a fun and poignant read.
Read On,
Jamie
Sunday, January 24, 2016
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Six of Crows
Six of Crows - Leigh Bardugo - 462 pages
"Trickery is not my native tongue, but I may learn to speak it yet."
You know when you read a book and you could talk for hours about all the beautiful writing, life lessons, and perspective on life it gave you? That's wonderful. You know what's also wonderful? When you read a book past three in the morning because you need to read "just one more chapter". When you giggle or gasp out loud in public spaces because you are so engrossed in what you're reading. When you know the book you're reading has flaws, but it's so easy to look past them because you just love living in that world for a little while. When you finish the book and all you can say is "Jarlnwgrboaiebwngerzaowefoi!!!??!"
Six of Crows was the latter for me. I haven't had that much fun reading a book since Golden Son. And even though a part of my brain every once and a while would whisper "But that doesn't make sense" or "Obvious plot device", I'd reply with "SHUT UP WHO CARES LOOK WHAT HAPPENS NEXT"
"A gambler, a convict, a wayward son, a lost Grisha, a Suli girl who had become a killer, a boy from the Barrel who had become something worse. What bound them together? Greed? Desperation? Was it just the knowledge that if one or all of them disappeared tonight, no one would come looking?"
I'm a sucker for a good heist story. I mean, Oceans 11? Come on. A group of lowlifes banding together to pull off the impossible? Yes please. Thieves, assassins, and thugs you come to care for tricking everyone (including you) and making you laugh, gasp, and cry along the way? Gimmie. Six of Crows isn't just a good heist story, it's a great one. Not only do you get non-stop action (and I mean non-stop, this book just keeps punching), you also get interesting backstories. The kind you actually CARE about and don't skim over to get back to the main plot.
Do you want to read a book with action, sass, a little bit of magic, and a whole lot of heart centered on a group of outcasts led by a Demon in gloves breaking into an extremely secure building to steal an impossible target?
Six of Crows is your book.
Meanwhile, I'm going to be over here, adding to the hype. And adding myself to the six of crows crew. (What do you mean you can't use an emotional fan girl??)
Read on,
Jamie
"Trickery is not my native tongue, but I may learn to speak it yet."
You know when you read a book and you could talk for hours about all the beautiful writing, life lessons, and perspective on life it gave you? That's wonderful. You know what's also wonderful? When you read a book past three in the morning because you need to read "just one more chapter". When you giggle or gasp out loud in public spaces because you are so engrossed in what you're reading. When you know the book you're reading has flaws, but it's so easy to look past them because you just love living in that world for a little while. When you finish the book and all you can say is "Jarlnwgrboaiebwngerzaowefoi!!!??!"
Six of Crows was the latter for me. I haven't had that much fun reading a book since Golden Son. And even though a part of my brain every once and a while would whisper "But that doesn't make sense" or "Obvious plot device", I'd reply with "SHUT UP WHO CARES LOOK WHAT HAPPENS NEXT"
"A gambler, a convict, a wayward son, a lost Grisha, a Suli girl who had become a killer, a boy from the Barrel who had become something worse. What bound them together? Greed? Desperation? Was it just the knowledge that if one or all of them disappeared tonight, no one would come looking?"
I'm a sucker for a good heist story. I mean, Oceans 11? Come on. A group of lowlifes banding together to pull off the impossible? Yes please. Thieves, assassins, and thugs you come to care for tricking everyone (including you) and making you laugh, gasp, and cry along the way? Gimmie. Six of Crows isn't just a good heist story, it's a great one. Not only do you get non-stop action (and I mean non-stop, this book just keeps punching), you also get interesting backstories. The kind you actually CARE about and don't skim over to get back to the main plot.
Do you want to read a book with action, sass, a little bit of magic, and a whole lot of heart centered on a group of outcasts led by a Demon in gloves breaking into an extremely secure building to steal an impossible target?
Six of Crows is your book.
Meanwhile, I'm going to be over here, adding to the hype. And adding myself to the six of crows crew. (What do you mean you can't use an emotional fan girl??)
Read on,
Jamie
Sunday, January 10, 2016
2015 in review
So, in true Jamie fashion, I forgot to keep up with the blog. Sorry 2015.
To be very honest, I got disenchanted with reading for a while. I didn't really want to read the books I had started and I didn't want to start any new ones. In fact, all I wanted to do was binge watch Daredevil and Jessica Jones (thanks Netflix...)
It didn't take much to fix this feeling though. All it took was a couple of good books. And changing genres.
I love reading historical fiction and non-fiction; I also love reading high fantasy and YA fiction. If I read too many books in a row of the same genera, however, I lose all interest. I didn't realize I needed to switch up my books until I couldn't even finish a book I had been waiting a year and a half to read. So I put that book down and picked up one of a completely different genera. It was then that I ripped through three books in less than a week.
I think I explained during summer last year that I needed a fluffy book because I was reading so many heavy books (I'm talking content wise), well the opposite happened at the end of the year. I was reading too much fluff and not enough meaningful subjects.
So if you're experiencing reading block, I suggest changing it up.
In other news, happy new year! I completed 48/50 books on time. I completed my 49th book on New Year's Day and am over half way through that (800 page) book I put down.
I've also already finished three new books, so there's more than enough for me already in 2016!
Before I move on to 2016 though, I'd like to reprise the tradition of summarizing the books I read this year, including my favorite books and total page count.
~ 2015 ~
50 Books
19,061 Pages
Shortest Book : King Charles III (well, it IS a play...)
Longest Book: Winter (824 pages)
$4.00 in library fees...
Read 12 books released in 2015
Oldest book: North and South (1854)
Re-reads: 2 (48 new books!)
Twenty-two 5 Star books
Seventeen 4 Star books
Eight 3 Star books
Three 2 Star books
Zero 1 Star books (I'm not heartless)
6 new series:
Mistborn, Half a King, Winner's Curse, Kiss of Deception, Red Rising, & Throne of Glass
Biggest plot twist:
Golden Son
My mind is still tripping over itself from that ending. In fact, I'm pretty sure this is the actual face I made when I read it. Morning Star cannot come out soon enough!
Most eye rolls:
TIE. Court of Thorns and Roses & Winner's Crime
You want to find out how ridiculous a book is? Have your little sister read the climax out loud to you and your entire family. I was SO sick of Court of Thorns and Blah, that's what I did. I think I permanently strained my eyes from that experience.
Funniest:
The Princess Bride
Imagine the movie, but funnier. Yeah.
Biggest Disappointment:
Queen of Shadows
Trust me. No one wants another rant. But you can read my other one and see some more spot on gifs HERE.
Most tears shed:
A Thousand Splendid Suns
Still crying.
~ TOP 10 ~
10. Code Name Verity
9. A Thousand Splendid Suns
8. Ember in the Ashes
7. Red Rising
6. Mistborn
5. As You Wish / The Princess Bride
4. Crown of Midnight
I'm still pretending Queen of Shadows doesn't exist so it's presence doesn't taint my love for Crown of Midnight. The heart in this book mixed with the amount of assassin awesomeness broke my heart and put it back together. #Chaolaenaforever #Chaolisendgame #GetawayfrommeAelin
3. A Pleasure to Burn
And what a pleasure it was. I read this book at work a lot and often had people stop me to see what I was reading. When I held the book up with a giant grin, most of them walked off without a word! It was just like magic. Such a poignant, captivating read for me.
2. Golden Son
As I explained above, and in my original review, I am incapable of talking about the end of this book without hysterics. I really enjoyed Red Rising, but Golden Son is on another level of mind blowing. I recommended this book to a couple of people who "like" it... but I still need someone to help me through this hard time (it's been a freaking YEAR) before Morning Star comes out. I never thought one of my favorite books would be sci-fi, but here we are.
I don't think I'll be able to top what I wrote in my original review, so go read that. I'll take this chance to say again that there was one point where I couldn't for the life of me flip the page fast enough. While parts of this book are beautiful and slow, there's definitely some page flipping, heart stopping action too. It's the mix of the two that captivated me and brought these characters so near to my heart. It's the mix of the two that makes it feel real and true to life. It's the mix of the two that won it the Pulitzer Prize. So do yourself a favor and read All The Light We Cannot See.
There you have it! A whole year in one post! And what a great year for reading it was. I got to read some classics that I had never read before such as The Hobbit, but I also got to read some brand new books and beginning what looks like a great series in An Ember in the Ashes. I read some books I'll never forget and some books I'm trying to forget. Goodreads says I averaged above a 4 Star rating in 2015 which may say something about how I rate books... or it may say that I read some really great books. I can't wait to see what 2016 bring me!
This year (at the end of this month in fact) I'm moving to Japan! So my book count is going to be less than 2015, but that's not terrible. As I'm thinking about setting a specific number, I'll continue to blog the books I've finished. So stay tuned!
Read on,
Jamie
Read on,
Jamie
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
Elantris, The Girl on the Train, and More
Here are the books to fill my reading requirement for 2015! Strap in friends, this is the final countdown.
North and South - Elizabeth Gaskell - 521 pages
18) A book 100+ years old
Published in 1854, North and South is basically the Elizabeth/Darcy Pride and Prejudice romance set in a factory town with strike/union themes on top of it all.
The first time I read North and South it was because I had just finished watching the BBC miniseries version with Richard Armitage and LOVED it. I strongly identified with Margaret Hale. She is independent, confident, kind hearted, and couldn't care less if men are falling over in love with her. She is fiercely loyal to her family and is content out of the spot light. Yet, she still lacks total social decorum and always speaks her mind. She comes to understand her heart through her experiences, but they don't change her. And who wouldn't fall in love with John Thornton so masterfully portrayed by Mr. Armitage.
I loved reading the book the first time but didn't think I would ever find the time to read it again. It is pretty long and a lot of the union/strike plots went over my head. Getting to read it a second time and let myself understand the whole story (which is only a touch different from the miniseries) made me enjoy it even more. If you're a fan of 1800s literature, I highly recommend North and South.
Home and Away - Dean Hughes - 176 pages
41) A book set during a holiday
I have NEVER won anything in life. Okay, let me be more clear. I have NEVER won a random drawing in my life. I have entered plenty in school, at work, and even at Disneyland, but I have never yet won. My mother, on the other hand, wins stuff like that all the time (too bad she wasn't with us that time at Disneyland.) She won this book at a girls night out party that is hosted twice a year at a local bookstore. I took her ticket to the front when her name was announced to pick it up. She has not seen the book since. That's because it's on my bookshelf now.
This book is set during the Christmas season... during WWII. It's 1944 and while most the family is home, the oldest son Glen is fighting in Europe. The points of view change back and forth between Glen in the battlefields and Dennis who is trying to give his Mother an unforgettable Christmas gift.
It's a one day read, so saying it's worth your time doesn't say much. So I'll say, read this book. Then give it as a gift next Christmas. Not because you won't want to keep it, but rather, if this book taught me anything, it's the true meaning of giving during the Christmas season.
Elantris - Brandon Sanderson - 638 pages
12) A popular author's first book
In one year, this was my fourth Brandon Sanderson book. This was his first book and it was good, but it certainly wasn't his best. I could feel him developing characters that would reappear in the Mistborn trilogy. That being said, it wasn't a bad book either. But you can certainly see the progression he's made as an author as he's gone along.
I don't really know how to describe this book. Maybe reading the synopsis on Goodreads would be easier for both of us. So instead I'll just be vague. The three main characters don't all meet each other until about half way (or more) through the book. This gave Sanderson a great opportunity to tie the story all together since we as an audience knew more than each individual character.
It can stress you out at times, knowing almost everything and letting the characters figure it out in their own time. But it can also be comical at times and ended up being one of my favorite parts of this book.
I recommend reading Mistborn first. If you love those books and need more writing from Sanderson, read Elantris.
The Girl on the Train - Paula Hawkins - 325 pages
38) A book a family member loves
So maybe my sister-in-law doesn't LOVE this book, but she did at least like it enough to make me read it. I've very glad she did. I read this book in two days. I read it at work. I read it in cars. I read it at a family gathering. I read it late into the night. I was so captivated by Paula Hawkins' writing style and the story she wove together that I didn't ever want to put the book down. I need to read more thrillers.
The story is a complicated who-done-it/what-the-heck-happened. The protagonist, Rachel, is a dysfunctional alcoholic consumed with regret and sadness from her divorce. Unreliable narrator? Check. One night she drinks too much and ends up blacking out, the same night a girl goes missing from the same area. Mystery? Check. But as Rachel investigates the disappearance, she discovers more about her own life, and that inevitably puts her in danger. Thrilled yet?
Recommended to those in the 16+ category, this is one thriller you shouldn't miss (even if you can guess the twist like I did, it's still worth the time)
Never, Never - Colleen Hoover & Tarryn Fisher - 159 pages
46) A book written by two authors
Ugh. This was a prime example of a requirement forcing me to read something I otherwise wouldn't read and me hating it.
These two teenagers suddenly can't remember anything about their lives one day. This includes: their names, where they life, their families, what classes they take, their friends, where they live, what they like. All they know is that they found one other person going through the same thing and apparently they're dating.
I don't know why I had such an adverse reaction to this story. Probably because it's in three parts and NOTHING happened in this one. Not until the very end anyway. The blurb made it sound so cool. I thought they were going to be in a car accident and one of them loses their memories. I didn't think it wouldn't be voodoo weirdo crap. So is this a fantasy? The authors seem to think it's a romance. I think it's pretty much a waste of your time.
Winter - Marissa Meyer - 824 pages
1) A book with 800+ pages
Fitting, that number one list wise would be the last completed requirement.
Honestly, if you read YA, if you like sci-fi or fairytales, or if (like me) you're interested what the heck a sci-fi fairytale mix would look like, pick up the Lunar Chronicles series stat.
It starts with Cinder. (Or you could read Fairest first, since it's a prequel) It ends with Winter. You will not be disappointed. I will remain vague and mysterious about what happens in this book since it's basically the grand finale.
Meyer continues her fine tradition of adding a new set of awesome characters in Winter. As I'm sure you figured out by the cover and the title, this part of the story will be based off of Snow White. While the crew spends most of the book split up, it's still very fun to see the characters interact.
If you've been reading the series, I'm sure you already know the end is satisfying. If you haven't read the series, get on that.
Well there they are! 50 books!
I'll save the big wrap up for my next post.
Read on,
Jamie
North and South - Elizabeth Gaskell - 521 pages
18) A book 100+ years old
Published in 1854, North and South is basically the Elizabeth/Darcy Pride and Prejudice romance set in a factory town with strike/union themes on top of it all.
The first time I read North and South it was because I had just finished watching the BBC miniseries version with Richard Armitage and LOVED it. I strongly identified with Margaret Hale. She is independent, confident, kind hearted, and couldn't care less if men are falling over in love with her. She is fiercely loyal to her family and is content out of the spot light. Yet, she still lacks total social decorum and always speaks her mind. She comes to understand her heart through her experiences, but they don't change her. And who wouldn't fall in love with John Thornton so masterfully portrayed by Mr. Armitage.
I loved reading the book the first time but didn't think I would ever find the time to read it again. It is pretty long and a lot of the union/strike plots went over my head. Getting to read it a second time and let myself understand the whole story (which is only a touch different from the miniseries) made me enjoy it even more. If you're a fan of 1800s literature, I highly recommend North and South.
Home and Away - Dean Hughes - 176 pages
41) A book set during a holiday
I have NEVER won anything in life. Okay, let me be more clear. I have NEVER won a random drawing in my life. I have entered plenty in school, at work, and even at Disneyland, but I have never yet won. My mother, on the other hand, wins stuff like that all the time (too bad she wasn't with us that time at Disneyland.) She won this book at a girls night out party that is hosted twice a year at a local bookstore. I took her ticket to the front when her name was announced to pick it up. She has not seen the book since. That's because it's on my bookshelf now.
This book is set during the Christmas season... during WWII. It's 1944 and while most the family is home, the oldest son Glen is fighting in Europe. The points of view change back and forth between Glen in the battlefields and Dennis who is trying to give his Mother an unforgettable Christmas gift.
It's a one day read, so saying it's worth your time doesn't say much. So I'll say, read this book. Then give it as a gift next Christmas. Not because you won't want to keep it, but rather, if this book taught me anything, it's the true meaning of giving during the Christmas season.
Elantris - Brandon Sanderson - 638 pages
12) A popular author's first book
In one year, this was my fourth Brandon Sanderson book. This was his first book and it was good, but it certainly wasn't his best. I could feel him developing characters that would reappear in the Mistborn trilogy. That being said, it wasn't a bad book either. But you can certainly see the progression he's made as an author as he's gone along.
I don't really know how to describe this book. Maybe reading the synopsis on Goodreads would be easier for both of us. So instead I'll just be vague. The three main characters don't all meet each other until about half way (or more) through the book. This gave Sanderson a great opportunity to tie the story all together since we as an audience knew more than each individual character.
It can stress you out at times, knowing almost everything and letting the characters figure it out in their own time. But it can also be comical at times and ended up being one of my favorite parts of this book.
I recommend reading Mistborn first. If you love those books and need more writing from Sanderson, read Elantris.
The Girl on the Train - Paula Hawkins - 325 pages
38) A book a family member loves
So maybe my sister-in-law doesn't LOVE this book, but she did at least like it enough to make me read it. I've very glad she did. I read this book in two days. I read it at work. I read it in cars. I read it at a family gathering. I read it late into the night. I was so captivated by Paula Hawkins' writing style and the story she wove together that I didn't ever want to put the book down. I need to read more thrillers.
The story is a complicated who-done-it/what-the-heck-happened. The protagonist, Rachel, is a dysfunctional alcoholic consumed with regret and sadness from her divorce. Unreliable narrator? Check. One night she drinks too much and ends up blacking out, the same night a girl goes missing from the same area. Mystery? Check. But as Rachel investigates the disappearance, she discovers more about her own life, and that inevitably puts her in danger. Thrilled yet?
Recommended to those in the 16+ category, this is one thriller you shouldn't miss (even if you can guess the twist like I did, it's still worth the time)
Never, Never - Colleen Hoover & Tarryn Fisher - 159 pages
46) A book written by two authors
Ugh. This was a prime example of a requirement forcing me to read something I otherwise wouldn't read and me hating it.
These two teenagers suddenly can't remember anything about their lives one day. This includes: their names, where they life, their families, what classes they take, their friends, where they live, what they like. All they know is that they found one other person going through the same thing and apparently they're dating.
I don't know why I had such an adverse reaction to this story. Probably because it's in three parts and NOTHING happened in this one. Not until the very end anyway. The blurb made it sound so cool. I thought they were going to be in a car accident and one of them loses their memories. I didn't think it wouldn't be voodoo weirdo crap. So is this a fantasy? The authors seem to think it's a romance. I think it's pretty much a waste of your time.
Winter - Marissa Meyer - 824 pages
1) A book with 800+ pages
Fitting, that number one list wise would be the last completed requirement.
Honestly, if you read YA, if you like sci-fi or fairytales, or if (like me) you're interested what the heck a sci-fi fairytale mix would look like, pick up the Lunar Chronicles series stat.
It starts with Cinder. (Or you could read Fairest first, since it's a prequel) It ends with Winter. You will not be disappointed. I will remain vague and mysterious about what happens in this book since it's basically the grand finale.
Meyer continues her fine tradition of adding a new set of awesome characters in Winter. As I'm sure you figured out by the cover and the title, this part of the story will be based off of Snow White. While the crew spends most of the book split up, it's still very fun to see the characters interact.
If you've been reading the series, I'm sure you already know the end is satisfying. If you haven't read the series, get on that.
Well there they are! 50 books!
I'll save the big wrap up for my next post.
Read on,
Jamie
Monday, November 16, 2015
You're not my Queen
Queen of Shadows - Sarah J. Maas - 648 pages
50) Reader's Choice
(This is your formal warning that this isn't a review, it's a much needed rant)
But is it really a reader's choice? Do you choose to read the fourth book in a series you love? Yeah, I guess you do. But it didn't feel like it. Why? Sarah J. Maas held characters I loved as hostages to force me to struggle through this 648 page land of complaints.
I don't often have very strong feelings of anger towards a book or author, but it happens. It happens when you love a story and the author ruins it. And it happened with Queen of Shadows.
To help me (and you) through this confusing time I've included gifs, which explain my feelings better than I ever could.
To start off I'd like to share this gif representing my overall feelings and what I would like to ask Maas-
or, more appropriately, WHAT WHAT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.
Please tell me Rowan hit Aelin over the head a little too hard and this whole book is just a really messed up dream Aelin had. Because I KNOW you wouldn't publish a fifth book in which everything the characters do is against what we know they would do in the previous four books! I KNOW you wouldn't throw away the important characters and relationships established for this fan fiction!
Or maybe I don't know you at all. (Yeah, probably that one) Thus bringing us to this gif, representing my reaction to every freaking character in this book and Maas herself.
I don't even recognize these characters.
In the eloquent words of Aelin herself,
"Things changed. I changed."
Ya don't say.
Aelin is not Celaena. Celaena, the sassy assassin went to Wendlyn and never came back. What returned in her place?
"It's Aelin now," she snapped as loudly as she dared. "Celaena Sardothien doesn't exist anymore."
The most perfect wonderful Queen of shadows and heir of fire, the mighty Aelin. Yeah. The one that wanted to kill her "friend" Dorian then DEIGNS to say SHE came back for him. Oh, but when it's Choal's idea and conviction to save his friend and King, it's a terrible idea and it would be a kindness to kill him and Choal is an idiot and we shouldn't trust him with anything. Ever.
#notbuyingyourcrap
SJM took Celaena overseas and replaced all the vibrant, deep characters with cheap imitations including Celaena herself. Suddenly, anyone without Fae blood is annoying and not good enough for Aelin.
"He (Aedion) and Rowan walked several paces ahead of Aelin, arrows loosely nocked in their bows as they picked out the way with their keen hearing and smell. If she had her damn Fae form, she could be helping instead of lingering behind with Chaol and Nesryn, but-"
Getting real tired of your crap Aelin.
Because Chaol isn't helping at all in this book, suddenly, he's turned into a burden to have along. He's human, and therefore not capable of anything useful. Oh, wait, there's this part -
"Chaol knew the forest best, having come hunting this way with Dorian countless times. He'd laid out a path for them the night before..."
Oh no Sarah J Maas, I think you made him too useful, better make him do something stupid and out of character. (Fast forward 18 pages)
"The path veered away, and Chaol had taken the wrong fork."
Yeah. Lost in this forest he's been in countless times. Couldn't even take the right path back to the city. Makes sense.
No. It doesn't make sense. Nice try. But someone had to get caught by the witches so that perfect Aelin could save them all with her cleverness. So why not Choal the useless human? Need we be reminded that Manon was going to let them go before Aelin egged her on? So, no Aelin. Rowan being shot wasn't Choal's fault for getting caught, it's yours for creating a battle with Ironteeth witches. (But mostly SJM's for the most obvious plot device ever)
#ChoalDeservesBetter2015
After all this, Aelin blames Choal for changing, saying there's so little left of the man she loved blah blah blah. Chased out of the castle, hunted down by the King, running a resistance, and all Aelin can focus on are the people he didn't save. The people he COULDN'T save! And when he drops this truth bomb -
"Do you understand what it was like for us here? While you were off playing with magic, off gallivanting with your faerie prince, do you understand what happened to me - to Dorian?"
Aelin's response is along the lines of HOW DARE YOU I AM A QUEEN YOU'VE DONE NOTHING HELPFUL I'M PERFECT LOOK AT ROWAN'S MUSCLES. So Choal states the obvious, mutual feeling.
You're not MY Queen.
Too much truth here. And yet it's used to further make Choal look like the bad guy.
CHOAL IS THE ONLY CHARACTER THAT MAKES SENSE ANYMORE despite SJM's attempt to make him the simpleminded backstabbing human.
So, we're sacrificing Choal, one of the best and most down to earth characters with real progression up until this book, for what SJM? We have to make Choal look bad because here comes the perfect wonderful flawless King of the world, Rowan.
Rowan.
Rowan is vanilla. Not french vanilla, that cardboard vanilla ice-cream that comes in the cheap plastic tubs. He's the most boring thing since white bread. How do I begin to describe Rowan...
That gif set is more interesting than Rowan.
There is something so boring about a perfect character. How can I even try to relate to you? I was so hoping to learn more about Rowan in this book. What did we learn? He's basically Aelin's dog. He does whatever he's told, he doesn't hold Aelin responsible for her actions, he doesn't really interact with anyone who doesn't have Fae blood, all he does in this book is try to guard Aelin during the day and try not to bed her at night. Despite the fact that their relationship is completely platonic is hammered into your head in Heir of Fire. I can almost hear the fangirls screaming, BUT HE'S PERFECT! HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE HIM??
How I imagine SJM trying to sell their love to me: Their love is interesting! It forbidden! They both have perfect bodies! They're sexy! They both have true loves that have died! He'd make a perfect King to her Queen! He took an arrow for her! He says things like this!
"You’re here—and you’re perfect. You always were, and you always will be.” - Rowan
It's so hard to love a person who's perfect and worships you, huh SJM?
I think SJM should just run off with Rowan. Why would the famously independent Celaena Sardothien need an immortal faerie man to complete the tasks she was capable of doing alone before? SHE WAS SUCH A GREAT FEMALE CHARACTER. I think that's the biggest loss from this book. Capable, independent, and kind hearted despite her bringing up, Celaena was probably my favorite female character ever. Now we have Aelin who is condescending, self-righteous, dependent on Rowan to "put her back together", and willing to kill just about anyone.
"Do you understand," Aelin said very quietly to them, "that if I suspect they're going to betray us, they will die?"
It was true, and maybe it made her a monster to Chaol, but she didn't care.
"I know," Choal said.
"Then lead the way," Aelin said, her voice hollow. "And pray they can keep their mouths shut."
You're talking about killing the entire household of a midwife who is going to help your lover with an arrow through his shoulder. Forget Choal, that makes you a monster to ME. Celaena helped sneak people out of the country instead of murdering them for the King. Aelin is going to kill an entire household of good people if one of them speaks of seeing her to anyone.
Of course, there's really only one person to blame for this whole train wreck. Sarah J Maas. She continues to deliver great action sequences, but they are WAY too few and far between in this book. Unforgivably so. Excluding the Manon/Aelin battle and the so-short-it-was-almost-non-existant rescue of Aedion and murder of Arobyn, nothing happens in this book until the last one hundred pages. Meanwhile, we're treated to subpar writing with little nuggets of "gold" like this -
"What if we go on, only to find a horrible end waiting for us?"
Aelin looked northward, as if she could see all the way to Terrasen. "Then it is not the end.”
You're SO wise Aelin, did you get that off a Hallmark card? Oh, no, it's an inspirational poster.
I don't trust you Sarah J Maas. Everything is NOT okay. But with two more books to go until the end? I think I may have to call it quits here. It's really sad to me that I now have to accept this book as canon. I'd rather erase it from my mind and live with Crown of Midnight as a stand alone. So thanks for the angry feelings.
You're not my Queen,
#KnopeOut,
Jamie
Sunday, November 15, 2015
As You Wish, Half a War, & And Then There Were None
As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from the Making of The Princess Bride - Cary Elwes - 259 pages
37) A non-fiction book
This year seems to be the year of The Princess Bride. I finally read the book earlier this year, then I had a Princess Bride birthday, THEN this book came into my life.
Cary Elwes was cast as Westley in The Princess Bride at age 24 having never done a comedy role before. And that's probably another reason he was perfect for the role. Rob Reiner wanted to match the tone of the book, not a slapstick full out comedy but a tongue in cheek humor that rings true while living in a fairy tale world. There's so much that Elwes remembers about the time filming the movie, things people like me are so delighted to hear. I almost feel that the reader's love for this book will be equal to their love for the movie. If you LOVE the movie and can't seem to know enough about it (like me), then you will LOVE this book. If you think it's a good movie, you'll think this book is good. And if you hate the movie? Get out.
This was another book on cd for me. There's something magical about having Cary recount these memories to you, including the use of impressions to portray his costars and production team. It doesn't end there though; other members of the team actually recorded their voices for the audio book too. I enjoyed this book immensely and highly recommend it to any Princess Bride fan.
Half a War - Joe Abercrombie - 362 pages
24) A trilogy (book 3)
Wow. What a way to go out. And yet? It doesn't seem an ending.
Once again, Abercrombie adds to his world by introducing a handful of new characters that he manages to make me care about. The stories not only include their own depth and climax, but add to overall story arch in significant ways. In Half a War we are introduced to Princess Skara (quickly promoted to Queen Skara) and her new and growing court which includes a sprinkle of pirates, spies, and rejects. Skara herself is underestimated frequently, but she knows that half of a war is fought with swords while the other half is fought with words. There's your teaser for those who haven't read this series.
For those who have, I have a question. They're guns, right? Seriously, they have to be, right?? Does that make me an elf? So many questions... But really, if they are guns as I suspect, it really makes you think about how technology can be such a devastating thing. Just think of the atom bomb. It also makes you think about who the bad guys are in this series. Father Yarvi is hell bent on his promise, that's what this is all about, revenge. But what was the cost of that revenge? Without Skara's intervention, Yarvi would become the new dictator of a land where violence begets violence without any skill or planning. Lots of thoughts.
Last thought though, the fake climax was rather anticlimactic, no? There was no way the other side could even stand a chance (see previous paragraph).
This was a good fantasy series, the supernatural elements have almost no presence in the first two books and appearing only in the last to be... not what you would expect. So it's different, but enjoyable for those interested in swordplay and voyages with a very human element.
And Then There Were None - Agatha Christie - 264 pages
9) A mystery or thriller
Why didn't I read this book in High School when I was supposed to? Because stubborn teenaged Jamie was dumb and didn't read class assignments fifty percent of the time.
What happens when ten strangers are invited to a mysterious island and begin to be killed off one by one after the fashion of a nursery rhyme? Suspense and paranoia.
This book scared me more than the book I read for this reading challenge that was supposed to be scary. Agatha Christie is the QUEEN of suspense. I sparknoted (which is now a verb) this book years ago and I STILL didn't see the end coming.
I would recommend this book to everyone. Especially the High School students who are supposed to be reading it. It's a fast read made even faster by the speed with which you'll be turning the pages.
43/50 Books Read
Read on,
Jamie
37) A non-fiction book
This year seems to be the year of The Princess Bride. I finally read the book earlier this year, then I had a Princess Bride birthday, THEN this book came into my life.
Cary Elwes was cast as Westley in The Princess Bride at age 24 having never done a comedy role before. And that's probably another reason he was perfect for the role. Rob Reiner wanted to match the tone of the book, not a slapstick full out comedy but a tongue in cheek humor that rings true while living in a fairy tale world. There's so much that Elwes remembers about the time filming the movie, things people like me are so delighted to hear. I almost feel that the reader's love for this book will be equal to their love for the movie. If you LOVE the movie and can't seem to know enough about it (like me), then you will LOVE this book. If you think it's a good movie, you'll think this book is good. And if you hate the movie? Get out.
This was another book on cd for me. There's something magical about having Cary recount these memories to you, including the use of impressions to portray his costars and production team. It doesn't end there though; other members of the team actually recorded their voices for the audio book too. I enjoyed this book immensely and highly recommend it to any Princess Bride fan.
Half a War - Joe Abercrombie - 362 pages
24) A trilogy (book 3)
Wow. What a way to go out. And yet? It doesn't seem an ending.
Once again, Abercrombie adds to his world by introducing a handful of new characters that he manages to make me care about. The stories not only include their own depth and climax, but add to overall story arch in significant ways. In Half a War we are introduced to Princess Skara (quickly promoted to Queen Skara) and her new and growing court which includes a sprinkle of pirates, spies, and rejects. Skara herself is underestimated frequently, but she knows that half of a war is fought with swords while the other half is fought with words. There's your teaser for those who haven't read this series.
For those who have, I have a question. They're guns, right? Seriously, they have to be, right?? Does that make me an elf? So many questions... But really, if they are guns as I suspect, it really makes you think about how technology can be such a devastating thing. Just think of the atom bomb. It also makes you think about who the bad guys are in this series. Father Yarvi is hell bent on his promise, that's what this is all about, revenge. But what was the cost of that revenge? Without Skara's intervention, Yarvi would become the new dictator of a land where violence begets violence without any skill or planning. Lots of thoughts.
Last thought though, the fake climax was rather anticlimactic, no? There was no way the other side could even stand a chance (see previous paragraph).
This was a good fantasy series, the supernatural elements have almost no presence in the first two books and appearing only in the last to be... not what you would expect. So it's different, but enjoyable for those interested in swordplay and voyages with a very human element.
And Then There Were None - Agatha Christie - 264 pages
9) A mystery or thriller
Why didn't I read this book in High School when I was supposed to? Because stubborn teenaged Jamie was dumb and didn't read class assignments fifty percent of the time.
What happens when ten strangers are invited to a mysterious island and begin to be killed off one by one after the fashion of a nursery rhyme? Suspense and paranoia.
This book scared me more than the book I read for this reading challenge that was supposed to be scary. Agatha Christie is the QUEEN of suspense. I sparknoted (which is now a verb) this book years ago and I STILL didn't see the end coming.
I would recommend this book to everyone. Especially the High School students who are supposed to be reading it. It's a fast read made even faster by the speed with which you'll be turning the pages.
43/50 Books Read
Read on,
Jamie
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Bossypants, Vault of Walt, & Lockdown
Bossypants - Tina Fey - 275 pages
43) A biography
Biography, memoirs, thoughts on life in general collected from living through varied experiences, you can take your pick. For me, the pick was pretty simple when it came to choosing a biography. I've wanted to read this book since it came out but never got around to it. I actually decided I'd like to listen to the audiobook for a couple reasons including it being the only copy at my library... The big one was that Tina actually gets to read the book to you, which feels much less like a book and more like she's giving me life advice over a phone call while sharing funny stories about her childhood, career, and parenting style. It's so perfect to hear her deliver those jokes instead of trying to read it, I know a few would have gone over my head. The only down side was the lack of pictures (since you can't download and look at a .pdf on your laptop while you're driving).
I say this in the most loving way, it's scatterbrained. All the stories are great, but what one has to do with the next... I guess you'd have to look to the name of the book to link them all together in any kind of attempt at cohesion. Honestly though, if you love Tina than this is the (audio)book for you. I confess I've not seen more than four episodes of 30 Rock, but I didn't feel like I was left out of anything in the book. So if your knowledge of Tina Fey is passing ("Didn't she portray Sarah Palin on SNL?" "Yes.") you will get a kick out of this book. Recommended for older fans of Tina, there's some strong language included.
The Revised Vault of Walt - Jim Korkis - 282 pages
32) A book you own but have never read
The subject of the day is: Disney
A helpful guide to cast member abbreviations and lingo:
Cast Member - An employee of the Walt Disney Company
The Mouse - Mickey Mouse
D.U. - Disney University, orientation building in Florida
WDW - Walt Disney World
My good friend sent me this book last year for Christmas and I was so excited to read it, but at the time I was actually working for The Mouse and therefore, had ZERO time to read. Thank this reading challenge for forcing me to dig through the pile of things I brought home from WDW and find this book. It's a collection of stories about Walt Disney. The things he did in his free time, his favorite foods, the changes he made to his films as we know them today, his original plans for Disneyland, it's all here in this book. It was fascinating for me to learn more about Walt, not the typical things you learn at D.U., but the stories Korkis searched for and found that otherwise may have faded away in time. I think this book is a really great read and recommend it if you like Disney; I certainly learned a lot about Walt and the old animation studio.
Lockdown - Alexander Gordon Smith - 290 pages
17) A book that scares you
At least... I think I was scared for a second or two...
The reason this probably didn't scare me very much is that it was all so unrealistic. I couldn't fully buy into this world where children were framed for murder and given a life sentence in an underground prison where they can do anything they want to you and no one cares. With dogs who have see through skin. I don't know. Even when I read it late at night and turned out the lights, my imagination never created a monster coming to kill me.
I'm also aware that I'm nitpicking. This is the kind of book my brother probably would have read in junior high (he hasn't read more than six books in his life). It's in it's right niche where it is. So why did Goodreads think I would love it? I have no clue. Horror in all forms is not my cup of tea (except The Walking Dead, I don't know why) I HATE being scared, that's why I choose a young adult book instead of, say, a Stephen King book. Sure, I'll be a little scared for the sake of this book challenge, but not terrified. I think I got grossed out more than scared, I mean seriously, how many times do the character's have to puke? Nitpicking. Anyway, if you know a young boy who doesn't like to read, maybe look into this one. Of course, if you think it sounds interesting, be prepared for a whole lot of nothing to happen through this book and leave you on a cliffhanger. Let me know if the second one is better.
Read on,
Jamie
43) A biography
Biography, memoirs, thoughts on life in general collected from living through varied experiences, you can take your pick. For me, the pick was pretty simple when it came to choosing a biography. I've wanted to read this book since it came out but never got around to it. I actually decided I'd like to listen to the audiobook for a couple reasons including it being the only copy at my library... The big one was that Tina actually gets to read the book to you, which feels much less like a book and more like she's giving me life advice over a phone call while sharing funny stories about her childhood, career, and parenting style. It's so perfect to hear her deliver those jokes instead of trying to read it, I know a few would have gone over my head. The only down side was the lack of pictures (since you can't download and look at a .pdf on your laptop while you're driving).
I say this in the most loving way, it's scatterbrained. All the stories are great, but what one has to do with the next... I guess you'd have to look to the name of the book to link them all together in any kind of attempt at cohesion. Honestly though, if you love Tina than this is the (audio)book for you. I confess I've not seen more than four episodes of 30 Rock, but I didn't feel like I was left out of anything in the book. So if your knowledge of Tina Fey is passing ("Didn't she portray Sarah Palin on SNL?" "Yes.") you will get a kick out of this book. Recommended for older fans of Tina, there's some strong language included.
The Revised Vault of Walt - Jim Korkis - 282 pages
32) A book you own but have never read
The subject of the day is: Disney
A helpful guide to cast member abbreviations and lingo:
Cast Member - An employee of the Walt Disney Company
The Mouse - Mickey Mouse
D.U. - Disney University, orientation building in Florida
WDW - Walt Disney World
My good friend sent me this book last year for Christmas and I was so excited to read it, but at the time I was actually working for The Mouse and therefore, had ZERO time to read. Thank this reading challenge for forcing me to dig through the pile of things I brought home from WDW and find this book. It's a collection of stories about Walt Disney. The things he did in his free time, his favorite foods, the changes he made to his films as we know them today, his original plans for Disneyland, it's all here in this book. It was fascinating for me to learn more about Walt, not the typical things you learn at D.U., but the stories Korkis searched for and found that otherwise may have faded away in time. I think this book is a really great read and recommend it if you like Disney; I certainly learned a lot about Walt and the old animation studio.
Lockdown - Alexander Gordon Smith - 290 pages
17) A book that scares you
At least... I think I was scared for a second or two...
The reason this probably didn't scare me very much is that it was all so unrealistic. I couldn't fully buy into this world where children were framed for murder and given a life sentence in an underground prison where they can do anything they want to you and no one cares. With dogs who have see through skin. I don't know. Even when I read it late at night and turned out the lights, my imagination never created a monster coming to kill me.
I'm also aware that I'm nitpicking. This is the kind of book my brother probably would have read in junior high (he hasn't read more than six books in his life). It's in it's right niche where it is. So why did Goodreads think I would love it? I have no clue. Horror in all forms is not my cup of tea (except The Walking Dead, I don't know why) I HATE being scared, that's why I choose a young adult book instead of, say, a Stephen King book. Sure, I'll be a little scared for the sake of this book challenge, but not terrified. I think I got grossed out more than scared, I mean seriously, how many times do the character's have to puke? Nitpicking. Anyway, if you know a young boy who doesn't like to read, maybe look into this one. Of course, if you think it sounds interesting, be prepared for a whole lot of nothing to happen through this book and leave you on a cliffhanger. Let me know if the second one is better.
Read on,
Jamie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)